Journal

The Curriculum of Shame

On growing up inside a system that called desire the enemy. And what it cost.

I Bought Something for Myself and It Changed Everything

A letter from Maren. I am going to tell you about a purchase I almost didn't make. It was a Tuesday afternoon. The kids were at school. I was sitting in the car in a parking lot scrolling my pho...

When Intimacy Feels Like One More Thing on Your List

A letter from Maren. I need to confess something. There was a period in our marriage when Beckett would reach for me at night and my first thought was not desire or love or even annoyance. It was...

How to Feel Like Yourself Again Before You Feel Like a Lover

A letter from Maren. Before I could want Beckett again, I had to find myself again. That sounds like a greeting card. It is not. It was the hardest, loneliest work I have ever done inside a marri...

The Mental Load Doesn't Stop at the Bedroom Door

A letter from Maren. I want to tell you about a Tuesday night. Beckett had done the dishes. He'd put the kids down. He came into our room with that look. The one that used to make my stomach fli...

Why You Stopped Wanting - And Why It's Not What You Think

A letter from Maren. There was a season in our marriage when I stopped wanting. Not slowly. Not dramatically. Just quietly, the way a candle burns down and you don't notice until the room is dark...

A Gentle Beginning: Where to Start When You Don't Know Where to Start

The first time we talked about buying something for the bedroom, we were sitting in the car outside a restaurant. Not because we planned it. Because the conversation had wandered there on its ow...

The Erotic Power of Dirty Talk: A Couple's Guide to Talking Hot

A Couple's Guide to Talking Hot We used to think dirty talk had to be bold or explicit to be effective. We now know it can be quiet, personal, and deeply arousing when it comes from a place of tru...

Beyond Solo Play: Integrating Sex Toys into Partnered Intimacy

Integrating Sex Toys into Partnered Intimacy We used to see toys as something for private moments. We now see them as another way we can play together. When we bring a toy into partnered intimacy,...

The Thrill of the Edge: Exploring Edging for Intense Connection

Exploring Edging for Intense Connection and Climaxes We have discovered that the moments just before release can be some of the most powerful in intimacy. Edging. The practice of building arousal ...